Satirical Speech Essays

High School education is perfect in so many areas that in order to truly comprehend its greatness, one must understand each of the aspects that make it so fantastic. From the grading system to teacher salary and student eagerness to learn, there are a wide range of qualities that make the high school education system the well-oiled-machine that it is.

Even if one doesn’t love teaching it is a very rewarding job because of the salary. As a society we demonstrate that we value good competent teachers as we are willing to pay them well for their work. So even if a teacher doesn’t enjoy spending over six hours a day with generally disrespectful teenagers, he or she can at least be comforted by the fact that he or she has a secure, well paying job.

Teachers are also very lucky as they have very little work that they have to take home or stay after school for. Some jobs occasionally require employees to take work home, or work a little afterwards for overtime pay. But teachers almost never have to stay after school to help students with work or to make up tests. Another big benefit is the lunch break, when teachers can relax without being disturbed by students coming into their classrooms for help. The occasional test or homework assignment that teachers have to grade is pretty much the only thing that they need to take home, and those are very rare. Because they don’t have much, if any work after school, the teachers are always enthusiastic and ready to teach and this enthusiasm is reflected on to the students

While teachers do contribute to the invigorating knowledgeable atmosphere in the classrooms, the students are the ones that really make it happen. In all of the classes I have been in or visited, every student is always focused intently on the teacher, absorbing all of the knowledge being taught with a passion that is truly astounding. I constantly am challenging myself to find a student that does not give the teacher his or her undivided attention but to this day; I have yet to find even one student with his or her head down, texting, or even staring off into space. Also, I am amazed at how dedicated the students are, as they come to school so that they can learn every day. I have heard of many instances in which the parents attempt to convince their son or daughter to stay home from school so that the student can sleep in, but the student will insist on going because they have a test that day, or even just because their determination to learn is too strong to be held back.

The only classes that I sometimes am disappointed in are the honors classes. The regular classes, in which the students and teachers stick perfectly to the curriculum and consist entirely of the teacher imparting knowledge to the students, are flawless. But the honors and advanced placement classes, especially social studies, have students raising their hand and giving their opinion or even discussing parts of the topic, not directly in the curriculum. Each time this happens I expect some punishment from the teachers; however they not only allow this unacceptable behavior but even encourage it. But hopefully the correct approach that the other students and teachers are taking will rub off on and change the attitudes of the honors classes.

The grading system in which letters are given to students depending on their score in the class is phenomenal. Probably the best part is the way in which it trains students to remember material only as long as they have to, and then to release it from their brains after the test. This is the best way to learn because students don’t need to remember anything from previous years, as they already received a grade for that year and can now focus on their current year. This cycle of cramming knowledge right before the test and then forgetting it afterwards is by far the best way to learn, because the only thing that matters is their grade, not how much they still remember from the class.

Another one of my favorite parts of the grading system is extra credit, when a teacher offers free points for activities semi-related or unrelated to school. These activities include; bringing tissue boxes in and ensuring that their parents go to back-to-school night or open house night. This has formed into an escape option for students, which is good because they shouldn’t be expected to actually earn their grade. It can be tough actually learning the material and remembering a small portion of it for the final, so teacher also round grades up at the end of the semester. This is great because even with all of the extra credit, some students still aren’t quite there, and they showed that they are committed to learning by bringing in tissue boxes so they deserve an “A”.

I hope I have demonstrated how flawless the high school education system is in this restrictively short essay. The teachers are rewarded handsomely for their work with a well paying secure job but the students are the ones that bring it all together. With their passion for knowledge and ability to learn the required material and forget it completely, they deserve the most acknowledgement. Also, the grading system provides strong encouragement to retain knowledge only until the test so that the students will be able to solely rely on their instincts to survive life after education because they won’t remember anything they were taught in high school.

Today’s society is faced with the continually growing problem of electronics and social media. What used to be considered a precious treasure is now the cause of teenage obesity, lack of concentration, inadequate communication, and above all a far less intellectual society. Cell phones, internet, video games, television all have taken over the youth in society and corrupted them into unimaginative, unqualified, dull robots. Facebook is merely a tool to drain the intelligence from teenagers until they are forced to speak in instant messaging jargon- LOL, OMG, TTYL. Twitter is a mechanism for teenagers to become hermits, living in their rooms updating their statuses every two minutes. Video games and television suck imagination from children’s minds, their eyes becoming plastered to a small pixel screen, their stationary bodies molded into the couch cushions. To stop a calamity like this from happening, there is only one option- abolish electronics and social media completely. If humanity can wipe away everything with batteries, plugs, and wires, people will become a more intellectual, responsive, exciting species on earth.


With government involvement, electronics and social media can easily be wiped away from the planet. Laws can be created making any form of electronics or social media illegal. This would include phones, game systems, and the computer. Batteries can be melted down and broken down parts dumped into land fills. Those found carrying any form of electronics or social media will be given the benefit of the doubt- this is a justice based society- and be given a warning, but the next encounter with technology could lead to life in prison or death. The banning of electronics and social media will create a safer society- less accidents and less health problems. 20/20 Eye sight will quickly increase since children are not staring at screens for hours on end, and driving will become a leisure experience when drivers aren’t dodging busy people on cell phones swerving into the adjacent lanes. The obesity rate for children will be brought down to acceptable levels because there will be no more televisions to watch while a child stuffs his or her face with potato chips. People will be able to laugh out loud not LOL and ROFLing will be no more; if people want to roll on the floor and laugh, they can do so without being constrained to a tedious text message, IM, tweet, or wall post. Teenagers will have to look at a person when talking to them not text or chat, allowing society’s youth to become far better communicators. There will be no more sneaking into the girl’s bathroom to text your BFF about the cute boy that you <3 so much, no more hiding cell phones beneath laps when your teacher thinks you are doing algebra homework. Students will not have to take out a calculator to know five times two equals ten or look on spark notes to understand that Romeo is a Montague and Juliet is a Capulet, all in all, a far more intellectual exuberant society.


Society has overlooked the many other options to solve this growing problem. Having students become educated to perform tasks without calculators, cell phones, or the Internet, raise the price of the most popular, yet least useful electronics, or have schools limit a student’s use of electronics or enforce better rules pertaining to electronics and social media could all be successful solutions but are not acceptable in this busy society. Because of this, abolishing electronics and social media would be the best and only solution to create a thriving society, to save the vivacity and intellect of the next generation of adults- the youth that can be seen at the present moment on cell phones, iPods, Facebook, and Twitter- from mass destruction by the monstrous electronics and social media. Make the right choice and give up your iPods, televisions, computers, and delete your Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter accounts. G2G, TTYL!






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